Run #1721 Only a Moron Would Start There!
Udder Moron decided to lay a Gypsies’ trail from Broadway and Lyon where parking is cutthroat. Happily, the Outbeer turned the corner and slide into a space Manhole had saved by ramming back and forth with his truck. Sometimes when you want that keg tapped ya gotta do what ya gotta do! Little by little the pack took over the street. Once they arrived Backside Banger and Adopt A Pussy clung to the tap with BB weeping as the amber fluid, Lagunitas IPA flowed into his red cup! Sitting on the retaining wall was Flesh Lightning who eschewed the alcohol only to have Wash This Asshole clutch her to his bosom, mumbling his thanks for that meaning more for him! Speaking of red cups, the crunches and pushup set who were running the Lyon St. steps suffered a loss as one of their own paid a little too much attention to the pack and missed that first step, ouch! It could also have been that a flash of light reflecting off of Glitorus’ glitter did him in! The pack was graced by ABBA visiting from wherever the hell he resides at the moment, and he brought a sacrificial lamb as well, Just Edward. Four or five pints in JE would have died a happy man! Pastel Gazelle took up the Male Missal and preached a sermon about love shared by friends that had the pack bobbing heads in agreement. Ever the wag, E=MC Fucked allowed that he’d done plenty of head bobbing that had nothing to do with religion! Sir Flaccid Of Nuttingham swears he heard Phone Sex mumble that she wouldn’t mind sampling that head bobbing! Clearly things were getting out of hand, and it was time to unleash the pack on the trail. Marks took the pack down the steps to Vallejo Street. As the Lost Patrol took off, Tongueless was elated that the trail led down the steps but Fits In handed him a reality check pointing out that he’d still be going uphill to the start. UM decided to give the pack an intelligence test by setting a long uphill slog that was a fake out. Generally, the pack was too intelligent or too into pain avoidance to make the climb, and then there was Pastel Gazelle and Just Bandit who got all the way to the backcheck, what a He-man and He-dog! The LP acquired Backwash along the route and that just made avoiding the hare’s pitfalls even more pleasant. Dr. Kimble managed to avoid the siren call of the Presidio and actually stay on pavement, of course he later wept over the lack of shiggy! Tricrapalete and Wet & Sloppy managed to work up a sweat although none of the true trail involved being in the bushes! Hand Pump managed to maintain his DFL status. Bitch Pimp is thinking that she could be like HP and be the perpetual owner of a new designation AGL, Always Gets Lost! Not that the Sacred Bucket of Margaritas was strong, but ABBA ended up lying full length on top of a hedge. Money changed hands when he didn’t roll over and plummet to the bottom of the steps. The pack managed to acquire Just Helmut a passerby with a strong penchant for alcohol. The pack wasn’t actually as dumb as Udder Moron expected, but just! Cheers.
On In!