Run #902 Sometimes Even No Shit Can Be Too Much

“Oh, ow, ouch, my shin splints this will have to be a short trail”, thus spake that lying sack of shit No Shit. Last week’s hare even brought in a cohort Six Tits A Week from the Whine & Chowder Society to wank with the pack. Hey, how long can two out of shape cripples actually make a trail? Tongueless should have known better having used that very line himself to lure the unsuspecting to their misery but even he was gulled by the Swedish moaning. The slimy Swede gathered the pack at Holly Park Circle at the ass end of Bernal Heights. The keg of Lagunitas Pale Ale was tapped and the pack slugged down piss while they waited for the fog and wind to build up to SF standards. Monkey See Monkey Do Me kept warm by letting Just Moose lie on top of her. C.S.I. wondered aloud just how common a position that was for the two of them but Just Moose only drooled and kept silent while MSMDM just smiled that Moana Lisa smile. Religion was handled by Just Daniele who was gifted to the Gypsies by Just Garrett and a fine gift she was. Taking up the Sacred Missal Just Daniele gave a reading that brought the glow back to Twinkle Dick and had Hand Pump itching for the chance. Religion having put the pack into its usual state of Disgrace it was time to be on-on. Trail went up the hill and into the park where Drill Me spent the evening while Bite Size and The Pussy Eater thinned the park’s population of small dogs and children. No Shit and Six Tit’s marks were easy to follow making it hard for the normally FRB R U Gay to explain his seemingly unerring ability to end up behind the tail end Charlies. The usual suspects made up the back of the pack with the addition of Joe Pubic Hair who was still nursing a hangover from last Thursday’s trail. D’anglin Anglin with his amazing capacity for self-delusion managed to convince himself that every false trail was true lengthening his evening. Not that the trail needed to be made any longer our hares took delight in the trail seeming to be endless. Jack The Ripper an expert in injuring himself noted that this was the perfect trail for reinjuring just about anything what with its emphasis on pounding concrete. Our hares seemed to find an endless amount of concrete to pound as the wind got windier and the fog got foggier. Fits In who was dashing along, well you know what I mean by dashing, kept thinking the trail wouldn’t end before the sunglasses she was wearing would need to traded in for night vision goggles. Not that Tongue Depressor, JC DQ or Just Omar minded the air was filled with smells and in honor of the hare they found seemingly endless places to shit. Is it even possible to ever carry enough dog bags? Still the trail eventually ended. Since Holly Park was filled with “no alcohol” signs the pack crossed the street to set up the debauch in front of the “no loitering” signs. Rocket scientist that he is Splat decreed that standing around pumping piss from the keg and surrendering to the siren song of the Sacred Bucket did not constitute loitering. Having lost some of her tolerance for the Sacred Bucket, this week filled with yet another new Fits In creation Smuggler’s Blues, Do Her Well was soon well done. The Bucket went to Hot Dick’s head encouraging him to cool it against the cement. Hey it seemed like a good idea at the time. It wasn’t long before Raspukin was getting his $40 worth of piss pumped into jugs. Poor Raspukin looks like a cross between failed chemo and someone who could play Freddy Krueger without makeup no wonder he needs to drink so heavily; he might see his reflection at any moment. Phantom once again visiting from MelbourneH3 arrived late but stayed late to make up for lost drinking time. With the Bucket going to his head 5150 made the mistake of asking Phone Sex to describe her favorite meal. Rumor has it they were still non-loitering at 6am on Friday and she was still going strong. King Rongjon back from the World Interhash convened the Circle and with the Sword Of Power firmly in hand kept the pack spellbound with his tales of daring do in Borneo. Cheers.

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